At therapy last week, we discussed and made a plan to get both kids out of our bedroom (and bed) and get Sawyer to his crib and Colt to his toddler bed. We started that very afternoon. No one was getting restful sleep and I was feeling so incredibly touched out. I needed some space. It was really getting to me that I had no personal space and no time to myself and was making my anxiety worse.

It’s been almost a week and Sawyer has slept for 2 naps a day and each night in his crib. The first few nights were good, then for about 2 nights he was up almost every hour and a half and let me tell you, that was rough. I am so used to co-sleeping and just nursing Sawyer back to sleep that for me to get up out of bed, go upstairs, and then nurse him and then transfer him to his crib, it’s a whole process. Last night was great though! I believe it’s because I was doing some research, etc. on how many hours a day an almost 8 month old needs to actually sleep and I came across an article that said how many hours a day should be nap time and if baby naps, then xyz is bedtime, if baby doesn’t nap, it’s early and you’ll put them to bed at xyz time. So yesterday we did the naps based on how many hours he should be napping and then he was in bed 3.5 hours later after his last nap and it was WONDERFUL! He woke up a few times and was a little fussy, but not crying and fell back to sleep within a few minutes. Around 1am he was a little more fussy so I got up and went upstairs to nurse him and was able to get him transferred back to the crib without him waking and then he didn’t wake up again until about 5:30am. So I’ll consider that a huge win.

But, my problem with all this is, I am hearing him cry even when he’s not! It’s the oddest thing and I think a lot of parents can relate to hear phantom cries. I’ll wake up and look at the baby monitor and feel like I just heard him crying but there he is, fast asleep. I know I can’t be the only one. Has this happened to you?

We are going through the cosleeping to crib process earlier with Sawyer than we did with Colt. With Colt, I stopped breastfeeding and we transferred him to the crib at 19 months. Colt did good for about 9 months or so, but when we brought Sawyer home from the hospital last August, all bets were off. Everyone was in mom and dad’s bed. FOMO anyone?

When talking with my therapist, we decided that it’s best to focus on Sawyer first, because with Colt so attached to me, I need Sawyer to be asleep and in a routine before we start working on getting Colt into his new room and into his toddler bed. He’s only taken 1 nap in there so far. We are going to give it maybe 2-3 weeks of Sawyer in his crib and then go from there to get Colt to his room. I’m looking forward to the day when I can sprawl out in my bed and not have to worry about wearing something nursing friendly to bed LOL.

Don’t get me wrong, I love love love the snuggles and cuddles and seeing my sweet boys sleep at night, but at this point, for my mental health, I need some space. Sawyer is doing really well overall with the crib. We have a weighted sleep sack that he’s using and I have it flipped backwards since he’s a belly sleeper a majority of the time, so then it’s the weighted part on his back and feels like a hand there so it’s comforting to him.

I already feel a weight off my shoulders due to the time I gain from not having to contact nap. Like I said, I love the snuggles and love holding Sawyer to sleep, but I don’t want it to be for every nap. If we are home, I’m going to make every effort to make sure he naps in his crib. It gives me time to do things I want to do, like write this blog post. Sweet Sawyer is taking his 2nd nap of the day in his crib right now. And guess where Colt is napping? In our bed with my husband Kyle. Things are changing, and it’s important to remember it’s all a season of parenthood.

Making a change like this is definitely an adjustment, but thankfully so far there hasn’t been too many tears, mostly just whining. I don’t think my momma heart could take tons of crying with this process. I’ll add also that to help Sawyer sleep, the camera for the baby monitor has music playing, I have a fan on that has noise and he also has a sound machine. This is not only for him to be able to sleep peacefully, but with a loud 3 year old and 2 dogs who bark at everything, it’s necessary. I don’t want anyone to have to tiptoe around because the baby is sleeping.

Tell me what you think, did you cosleep? Were your kids in their crib right from the start? I support all parents and know that what works for me and my family may be entirely different than what works for you and yours. Parenthood is about lifting each other up and finding your virtual village to help. Parenthood is HARD.

Much love, Stef

#postpartum #ppd #anxiety #postpartumdepression #cosleeping #roomsharing #cribsleeping #thebevinsclan #therapist #mentalhealthawareness #lifestyleblogger #motherhoodblog #momswhoblog #virtualvillage

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